Basketball--Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta...
Hockey--You are loud, angry, and want to see someone die. If you can't be personally responsible for it, then you will "calmly" eat nachos and drink beer while you let a Canadian with a really long stick and blades on his feet do the work.
Golf--Wow...does that ridiculously huge Rolex on your arm make it harder to swing your golf clubs? Can you accurately play with those Oakley's on? Aren't you worried your Beamer will get dinged by a bad stroke in the Country Club parking lot? Yeah, we get it, you're rich.
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| Yes, hold my rod and show everyone how big this thing is.... www.whatsonxiamen.com |
Nascar--You need an excuse to drink and socialize on Sundays when that commercial one is not in season. And you can NOT borrow my car.
Soccer--Congratulations! You are not American! Or you probably shouldn't be. If you are, now's about time to move out of the country. It's for your own good.
Baseball--Um....don't have much to say here. You really love sports. Why the fuck else would someone sit through two hundred games of undetermined length? It's just a bit overwhelming if you're not really into it. And it's like five hundred years old. Geez.
Let me know if I missed your favorite sport, and I will totally make fun of you.
Fakewords: #Beamer, #analyzation, #Nascar (ha!), #Geez
Hahaha. But dude, you totally forgot tennis. And volleyball. And, like all ninjas, I must mention karate.
ReplyDeleteI totally thought of volleyball about five minutes after I published this, while I was in the bathroom. I think it is important that everyone know where I am when I think of these things. Anyways, I think I sort of blocked it out, since in my other post, I made fun of Tom Cruise themed parties, which in my mind covers the obligatory "Top Gun Volleyball scene' jibe. That's really all I have to say about volleyball...
ReplyDeleteTennis did cross my mind, as well, although I don't think I've ever actually met anyone who said tennis was their favorite sport. So this leads me to believe that there are people out there who really do love it, but are just secretive by nature and won't admit to their love of tennis because there is something more acceptable they should do/say. There is also a chance that part of the reason they enjoy tennis is that it is one of the few sports where looking damn good is actually encouraged. Like, the sexier you look, the better. All of these observations lead me to believe that people who's favorite sport is tennis are highly likely to have an affair in their lifetime. Probably with someone who likes golf--gotta keep the tennis wardrobe funded.
Karate--You love the 80's.
Oh god...laughing so hard...
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